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Extract from Dennis Cooper, The Sluts:

To answer xtacyla's question, yeah, I'm Brian. You want to know why I changed? Because Brad broke my fucking heart. Brad crushed my soul and twisted my mind. I loved that beautiful, selfish, lying, manipulative, psychotic young prick. If there's any feeling left in me, I still love him. The hatred I feel when I rape and humiliate and torture and beat and dismember their beautiful young faces and bodies is as close as I can get to the fury of love I felt for Brad. The thing about Brad is that he was right - killing a boy who wants to die is an experience beyond any other in the world. I've had some of the most sexually intense, profound experiences that anyone has ever had, and I know the ugly truth of what life really means. Brad convinced me that he wanted me to kill him because it would mean he and I were both truly loved, and that I haven't achieved, and that's the only thing will stop me because I know that is what I need. I shouldn't say it's the only thing that will stop me because I now believe that he was lying to me, and that it will be nearly impossible to find that perfect love. What will stop me is killing Brad. I'm going to kill him. There's nothing you or he or anyone he knows can do about it. I'm going to do whatever it takes to find him and snuff out his exquisite and sadistic life, and in the meantime I'm going to get my rocks off by continuing my quest for the penultimate murder. If Brad has any humanity in him, he will give himself to me to save the lives of all the boys who are going to die until he's dead. Because I'm a highly intelligent, resourceful, and very wealthy guy, and the police will not be able to stop me. I've made sure of that, but go ahead and following my 'leads' if you want. So there you go, you losers. Oh, if it matters to you, Phillip Berringer is still alive and intact, but he is not the boy he used to be. I've spent most of the last 24 hours pounding his little ass with my thick 9 1/2" cock. I've buried most of my hand in his hot, cramped hips, and heard his anal muscle tear apart, and seen his bloody asshole gnaw toothlessly at my knuckles. He is running a high fever, and is very pale and sweaty and weak, but it just makes him look more beautiful. He doesn't fight me very much anymore, and I think he even enjoys the sex. If the deal with xtracutebill falls apart, I think I'm going to enjoy every endless second of killing him. Does anybody out there have any suggestions? Hopefully, it won't come to that. someoneone